The Surecut Kids

My Friend Jimmy from Grand Scheme emailed me this week to tell me about an online game called ‘Robot Unicorn Attack‘. Its no secret that i have a thing for unicorns and all the ensuing hilarity that comes with them, so he knew this would be right up my alley. In fact he even cautioned us  ”warning, this game is like sparkley rainbow crack”. Luckily it hasnt taken over my life yet, but i find it hilarious anyways.

Play Robot Unicorn Attack

Whats the only thing hotter than unicorn-sex? FREE UNICORN SEX!  By which i mean to say: We have this free EP of club tunes to give away to you. Its a collection of some of our favourite remixes and originals from recent times. A lot of the songs on here you may already be familiar with, or even have them already. If that’s the case, delete the old versions. We’ve had them all professionally mixed and mastered so now you can play them in the club without having everything turned up to breaking-point.

There’s also a new remix on there for you: ‘Sandwiches’ originally by Detroit Grand Pubahs. Its been a party-classic for years now, we thought it was time for a remix.

Hope you enjoy it all, and remember: Every time a unicorn has sex, a rainbow is born! (Scientists will have you believe that its actually light refracting through vapor. Thats not true. Its unicorns.)

Click HERE to download the Unicorn Sex EP

Tracklist:

1 - Sandwiches (Surecut Kids Remix) – Detroit Grand Pubahs / Surecut Kids

2 - Workin up a sweat (Turbulence Version) – Surecut Kids

3 - Slice of heaven (Surecut Kids Remix) – Dave Dobbyn / Surecut Kids

4 - Workin up a sweat – Surecut Kids

5 - We No Speak Americano (Surecut Kids Remix) – Yolanda Be Cool / DCUP / Surecut Kids

6 - 80 20 (Master) – Surecut Kids

This is ‘Hoola Hoop’ by Macka Diamond. Everything about this song is pure FIYAH!!! The beat is hot, Miss Macka Diamond’s flow is unstoppable, and the song has its own dance. Plus im pretty sure she yells out “unicorn” at the start, which is totally cool with me. Put it on blast, grab your girl, and dagger the shit out of her! Hoola Hoola Hoola Hoola Hoola Hoop, Gyal!!!

Seriously!? They are just magical horses with a horn? Oh and they smoke cigarettes and fuck each other on rainbows….  ….Really???

After an ongoing obsession with the hilarity of unicorns in general, our boy Cutloose sent us a link to this: The most terrifying, soul-destroying piece of unicorn footage i have ever seen. I have to warn you, this will scare the fucking shit out of you, ruin your sleep-patterns, and make you break out in sweats every time somebody mentions the ‘U’ word. Not for the faint hearted.

Thought i should run this by you – remember how exciting it was when we stumbled onto some unicorn poo a few months back? (if not, click here) Well we were lucky enough to spot some Unicorn vomit this year at Parklife! I could tell it was fresh because it was covered in saliva and some kids were throwing it around. Kids these days hey? Always off on some whacky adventure!!

We were visiting the lovely town of Lennox Heads yesterday when i happened to stumble onto this – Unicorn poo!!
As you can see, it can also be used as a telephone, or a fun multi-coloured dildo! WEEEEEEE!!!

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